Spiders and Mona Lisa

Last week was the worst week. In fact, I was pretty upset the majority of the week. Tuesday- was one trial after another, Wednesday- I woke up to strange Chinese men at my door and the rest of the week was just not good. Finally today- was a good day. I had watched Mona Lisa Smile, eaten a brand new, very expensive can of Chef Boyardee that I found at a foreign food store and was drifting off to sleep, when I realized I forgot to brush my teeth tonight. Now, for some once a day is enough- but in my line of work you need your teeth, so you brush 3, maybe 4 times for good measure. So I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I switched on the light which flickered and turned to look at the mirror and there it was. The worlds biggest, ugliest, hairiest spider humanly possible. I screamed- which had no effect on said spider- and fell back against the wall outside the bathroom. I have come to realize that there are few times where I wish I was married. This
time is one of them.

I hate spiders. Maybe not as passionately as others do- but spiders creep me out. None of them are sweet like the ones in Charlottes Web and none of them seem to help you. No, they have 8 hairy legs and little mouths.....ick. Anyway, calmer, but still a bit tense about the large arachnid chilled out in my bathroom, I called my mother not sure what to do. I know I must kill it but something in me would be much happy it if just died where it was and I could stay where I was. After about 40 minutes, standing outside in the rain and asking one the security guards to come and kill it, the spider is dead. Now even though the spider is dead and gone, I still have problems going into the bathroom for fear that there may be more.

Which brings me to Mona Lisa Smile. One part really caught my attention in this movie- a line said by a minor character about how happy she is to stay where she is. All this week- I have been thinking about life and how much I hope this year offers chances for me to jump in faith. To simply rely on the One who is control- rather than to take control myself. To do something more with what could be my last year in Asia, my last year abroad. I am happy here and know that my time here is precious- however I want to be more usable, more flexible, more giving of myself, willing to learn and understand- things that I have made small steps in, but things I still need. I am sure that with this jump there will be more trials, more spiders, more things I do not understand- but I can not stay outside of the bathroom forever.

I am ready to start my 12 month and go into my second year ready to face whatever comes. Who knows. Maybe it will come in being able to manage a spider.