Challenge of Being Quiet

I love challenges- for the most part. There are some challenges that push me just to my breaking point and I think, "Why?" But for the most part I always thrived in the midst of a challenge. At a piano recital one time, I played a extremely difficult song (for me) almost perfectly only to fail miserably at the easy piece that followed. In High School, I loved my hardest teacher- because she pushed us to go beyond what we thought we could do. In fact, in 9th grade had anyone told me that my senior year I would take and pass Physics and Pre-Calculus and French 3- none of which I use today- I would have laughed. I suppose that I enjoy the thrill- the learning that takes place when in the midst of a challenge.  

I recently went to Hong Kong and although this trip was made by bus, I think about the times I have used the ferry. I love riding on boats. Big or small, I enjoy the crashing waves, the sun, the fish, the passing of small villages in Zhongshan and Shenzhen. What I don't like is the the before and after part. I don't like the gentle bobbing up and down. The stillness. It makes my stomach churn. 

I suppose that my lack of recent e-mailing can be chalked up to this- life has been still. Quiet. Nothing new or exciting to tell about. It makes me a bit queasy. However, it is my biggest challenge. I like to be loud, to talk, to sing and to dance. But it is the quietness that I am restored- I can rest. But learning how to be quiet is the struggle. Learning to listen in order to face the next difficult task with more patience and renewed determination is something the thing in my life that gets overlooked. Even now learning to rest about my future makes me want to spend the next few months wishing life away, because at least then my stomach does not do somersaults of worry. 

But instead, I am learning. Learning that life most continue and that my students deserve and need me to be focused on my present. Learning that even though stillness may be an easy thing to learn, I still need to do well. I have been told that this part of life is constant so I am sure that this is a lesson I will have to learn over and over again... Thankfully, I have a patient Father willing to teach every time.