being offensive, rubberbands and being valued.

Today has been a particually rough day.

It started off with an e-mail from someone that I work with telling me that I would not be able to work on Saturday due to my religious beliefs. As much as I understand, I was frustrated. I am not working very much this week and could have used the job and was looking forward to the fact that this family had one child and it was a 2 year old. Often times I am with 9-15 year olds and sometimes its just healing to hold a baby. I felt rejected not only based on what I believed in but because somehow these people were saying I am not good enough to watch their child.

I told someone tonight I felt like I was being spiritually attacked with rubber bands. Painful and something that leaves scars for days. I felt like they knew my weak spots and instead of something quick decided to fire the thinnest rubber bands towards those soft spots. It makes me hurt all over... I have always been told I should be like a rubber band but the reality is that as flexible as I want to be the pain of being hurt is still present.

One of those areas is that of my value and worth. I was part of a conversation today where 2 girls were questioning the likelyhood of another girl getting married because of the fact she has a ThM. I feel like somehow women are starting to associate things like intelligence and beauty into a sense of worth. Maybe it's true- that woman may not get married- but don't I serve a God who does the impossible? Should someones intelligence, appearance, or religion somehow effect their worth?

It is possible that I will be starting to work with the youth group at the Summit. I almost feel as if there should be better answers for them. That while those things do matter ultimately our identities are not found in what we do or have but as Christians our identities should be and are rooted in Christ. My friend Emily puts it nicely when she says "in exchange for sitting at the table of false satisfaction, feeding off the morsels of whatever it is (it being what we look to instead of Christ) washing it down with the poison of pride, may we instead rest at the dining table of full satisfaction with our Father we have already been given, indulging ourselves in the word, being constantly refreshed in the Spirit."

I feel like this is something that I am still learning. That only Christ will satisfy. The other things that I am looking too- my job, my friends, and the things that offer comfort, love, joy, peace, and rest- fail and fall short. In Him, I can find my value and worth... not in the things I lack. In Him, I can have....

life.

7 Quick Takes #1

I am starting to do these again and this is my first one of the new year!

#1

I should be studying for my New Testament and Problem of Evil exams but instead I am blogging because somehow that seems like more fun.

#2

I seriously love every one of my classes and professors. Whenever something goes wrong I want to ask "WWHTD?" or "WWJED?" (what would Heath Thomas do? or What would Jeremy Evans do?).... I have more what would ____ do? but those are the top two at the moment.

#3

It has snowed a couple of times since I moved back the states and I have found myself wondering why in the world would I ever want to live in a place where in snows? I mean honestly, snow is cold. Cold is depressing. It's pretty when you are inside with wool socks and hot chocolate but then when you go out the next day and your car is stuck- thats when you realize snow is uncool. Give me sunny warm weather any day.

#4

It's that time of year when Lent is happening. This year I have given up Facebook again. I am trying to add new and better things to my life- like eating better and more scripture memory. This past week though I have failed. But I am learning more and more about grace and the fact that it really covers all of my mistakes. I am also trying to branch out a bit more from only being in Wake Forest. I work and watch kids in the greater Raleigh- Durham area so I am trying to find places that I can go frequently to build relationships and live out a godly life.... without killing myself wasting gas money.

#5

For Valentines day, I went to a fondue party. LOVED IT! Letha is a such an amazing person. We have lunch together on Tuesdays and I seriously think that Tuesdays may become my favorite days this semester. She is writing up list in honor of her turning.... ahem 19 this year. you can find it at lethadiane.blogspot.com. I have helped her with her most recent one which turned out pretty stinkin great!

#6

I may be starting to help out with the youth group at the Summit where I go to church. I never really thought of working with youth- I prefer college students- but thats where they need people. I am going to an intro meeting to see what I can do and how to be used.

#7

I love coupons and plan to start using them more frequently. No joke. I recently bought a half gallon of Edy's No Sugar Mint Chocolate ice cream from Harris Teeter. On sale= 2.97. Coupon= 1.00. VIC (Harris Teeters MVP card)= 1.00. 97 cents for a half gallon of ice cream. HECK YEAH!