Balancing

I at one point wrote an e-mail from China about balancing and how much time it takes.

It's a lesson that I am still learning. Only today instead of balancing the needs of my classroom- my balancing act has taken on new heights and I am jungling several things- a job, a social life, a ministry and classes. It's a struggle and I am terrified that at any moment I will slip, fail and fall. My dad use to put me on his shoulders and I remember the exhilarating feelings that I really was on top of the world. I remember being scared that I may fall but somehow comforted that my Dad would do everything in his power to protect me and catch me if I fell. The coolest part was that I think I could hear him more clearly when I was on his shoulders and I knew when he smiling even though I couldn't see.

There is a new song that plays on the radio that I really identify with called "Free to be Me". In it the singer takes about how perfection is the enemy and how on our own we are clumsy.

I suppose my downfall is just that. I moved to Wake Forest with the idea of things should go and since they haven't gone that way- I feel like I am tripping over myself and stumbling in areas that I thought I had a handle on. But the reality is things going my perfect way doesn't matter and in the end my way is clumsy and hard.

The end of the song talks about how God takes us on his shoulders and there we can see that we we are truly free. Free to be ourselves, to live life fully and to rest in his care. Free to believe that He will do everything to protect us and catch us when we fall.

My balancing act will take time. Until then- I will rest in knowing my Father is right there and that if I just bend my head closer I can hear hear His voice and feel His smile..