Pleasing

This whole week I have been faced with the idea of who am I pleasing.

It started on Tuesday sitting across from a friend telling how much I wish I could just but my pride "won't let me". The reality is that I am making a choice not to change. I am choosing the way that seems easier and instantly gratifying although I know in my head and heart that I am suppose to make a different choice.

The next night my student small discussed the heart that drives us to make decisions. I had a bunch of ethics class reruns going on my head. I knew that I should make decisions based out of of obedience. I knew my choices should reflect a heart that has been forgiven, accepted and covered by grace. Instead, I was still selfishly believing that I knew better.

Finally yesterday came. Thursdays are my long days. I have such mixed emotions about them. I start my day at 6 a.m and generally go until 9 p.m. It's a long day with about 3 hours of break in the middle. I tend to get a lot done whether going to the post office, getting school supplies, reading and other things. When I got to my last job, I was still thinking about what it means to live a life that is pleasing to God. The woman that I worked for had a list of things that her children needed to do (i.e. pick up the playroom, pick up the shoes and so on) before they could play.

I woke up the 3 year old twins about 3:40 and this was the conversation:
Me: Before we play, we have to clean up a little.
Sammy: Why?
Me: Because cleaning up will make your Mommy happy.
Macey: And she will give us hugs and kisses?
Me: Well, she will do that anyway because she loves you guys. But we are going to clean up because it will make her smile.

I, in no way, want to endorse that we have to do things in order to get God to love us. But the conversation mirrors the relationship that we should have. We do things not because it will make God love us more or less. We do it because we want to make Him happy. We want to please him. I desperately want to please me parents. I attempt good grades and try to be wise with my money. Not because if I fail they will love me any differently but because when I do those things it reflects on them and how they invested in me. The way that I want to please God should echo in the way that I want to please them. 

I don't know best. But I can make the choice to lay down what pride I have and live a life that is pleasing to Him.

"So that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience,  and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light." Colossians 1:10-12